We've got politicians who consider rape just another form of conception and think it's perfectly valid to force rape victims to bear their rapists' children. We've got other politicians who think women should prepare for rape in the same way that we carry a spare tire in our vehicles. We've got 31 states that allow rapists to sue their victims for child custody. We've got children who actually think rape is acceptable under certain circumstances. And then there are the rapists who don't think they are rapists. Women are somehow expected to be nice to men, even when they are victims of unwanted attention. If they say what they think and ask men to leave them alone, they are "bitches." If they turn the men down nicely, the men get the idea that they are "too nice" and that "nice guys finish last," when really, it was just that the woman wanted to get out of the conversation as quickly as possible with minimal fuss.
Are that many men really that incapable of keeping their peckers in their pants? Why is it my obligation to prevent myself from getting raped? Why is society so disinclined to punish a rapist for raping and instead punishing the victim for being raped? How are we any better than the middle eastern countries who insist their women hide under sheets - I mean burkas - to keep men from being tempted by them? It is these very attitudes that teach our children that women should not try to look pretty unless they want to have sex with a man, that wanting to have sex with one man means that any man will do, that we owe complete strangers civility and conversation regardless of how willing we are to provide it and how forward they are with their advances, and that because men apparently have extremely poor impulse control, it's up to us to "not become a victim."
However, we are also teaching our children that men should expect women to "put out" if they've paid a certain amount of money on a date, that acting on their sexual desires is something out of their control, and that once they've got an erection, they are no longer responsible for what they do. We make jokes about men thinking with their dicks all the time. Maybe we ought to start pointing out that thinking with your dick is unacceptable, and that your brain can and should always be in control. We most certainly need to stop blaming the victim for the crime. We also need to make certain that rapists are punished appropriately and that they are actually sought. Too often, the perpetrator is let off with a slap on the wrist, while the victim is expected to just get on with life as if it never happened, because why should they try to ruin the perpetrator's life? Does no one understand that once a woman is raped, her life has been ruined far more completely than any rapists has? Are people really that stupid? That blind? That willfully ignorant? Or is it just that because it is so common, we're just supposed to get over it?
Men need to understand that women are not possessions. We do not owe you anything. If we choose to give a part of ourselves to you on occasion, that does not mean that you have free reign over us at all times. If I don't want to have sex with you, I don't have to. If I don't want to show you my body, I don't have to. If I don't want to kiss you or hug you, I don't have to. If I don't want to even talk to you, I don't have to. Even if you bought me dinner. Even if I've had sex with you before. Even if I'm wearing a short skirt and heels. Heck, even if I'm naked in your bed. If I tell you to stop, you had better stop. Because you are better than that. You have a brain in your head. Use it. Learn a little bit of self-control. Because women deserve the right to feel safe all the time, and in order for that to happen, it's our attitudes and thought patterns that have to change.
